Broken
by SweMiKi
Summary: With the Avengers fighting in a war she cannot partake in, S.H.I.E.L.D. keeps her hidden in a small house in the middle of nowhere. As she is found by the very reason for her desperation, her only chance is to run and try to escape.


A small (and rather dark, I think...) One Shot as a tribute to this wonderful ship :) I'd love you to give my scribbling a chance and perhaps help me improve by leaving a comment afterwards. Criticism is always welcome!

However, enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I own neither Jane nor Loki. All rights belong to their respective owners.

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**Broken Inside**

I ran.

My feet touching the ground only barely, loud breaths being the only sound reaching my ears. The dark forest surrounding me flew by, thick roots crawling over the snow-covered floor and scrubs making me stumble. I had scratches and bruises already spreading all over my arms, but I did not notice.

Tears filling my eyes, blurring my sight. Burning heat running down my flushed cheeks. White clouds forming in front of my mouth.

I did not notice.

My body felt numb. A sheet of pure blankness dropping down upon my very being. And a calmness gripping my heart, killing every emotion.

I did not notice. I felt nothing. I did not care. A strong callousness held me tight.

I did not care. It was over. It had to be.

I closed my wet eyes, squeezing them shut in a helpless attempt to fight off the pictures that didn't seem to fade in front of me at all.

Blood. Everything covered in blood. Terrifying. Hopeless. Brutal.

My insides clenched once more, but I couldn't even vomit. I didn't know if it was due to my brain that had closed out my feelings to shelter myself or if I had simply died back in that cage of a house.

I trembled over, arms lifting to catch me from falling reflexively, failing, and I fell down on a mockingly soft forest floor. My hands gripped fine needles as they wandered aimlessly across the earth, searching for something uncertain – anything – to hold onto.

And still, I kept my eyes closed. There was nothing to see anyway, besides the icy manifestation of my despair; I could very well just die right here, drowning in my own misery and fear.

I'd be better off that way for sure, I was not prepared for what would come next - I'd never be – just as I hadn't been ready for what had already happened.

And again the pictures -memories?- came back to my mind. Blood. Screaming. Golden hair stained red, dripping. And silence. Deep pure blue losing it's lively shine. Dead. Cold. And a laugh, dark and insane. Satisfied.

I wanted to scream so badly, wanted to punch someone -anyone- to feel relieve and yet I was still too numb to even move a single finger. Only soundless tears would run down my face, adding new glistening white traces of frost on my skin.

If this was how it felt like to go on, to stay alive and keep breathing, I didn't want it. I preferred death. Maybe freezing to death right where I lay. I didn't feel the warmth leaving my body anyway.

Darkness began taking over my mind and I let it wash over me voluntarily.

"I am deeply disappointed. You are already giving up, Miss Foster?"

That voice. That dark, insane and disappointed voice.

My eyes fluttered open, against my will, and I was granted with the view of two black boots, merely a few feet away. I kept my eyes low, I didn't want to look at him.

No noise left my mouth besides my weak but steady breathing.

"I was anticipating you to put up more of a fight. Was wondering what my _beloved brother_" , he spat the last words out like venom, "had come to be this fond of". The boots started to move towards me and I shut my eyes again.

It was over anyway. I had no reason to play along in his game.

A wave of emptiness wallowing from my gut and seeping in every corner of my mind. I was alone. No need to care about anything any more. It was fine with me, as long as I was not forced to imagine the limb body of...

No Jane, no!

Surprisingly light steps made their way over to me.

A hand grabbed my shirt's collar and I was lifted roughly, thrown back to a tree's trunk in one smooth movement. I coughed hardly at the impact, though the pain in my back never really made it to my carefully shielded consciousness. My eyelids stayed closed firmly.

"Look at me, Miss Foster", the voice hissed into my ear. I could feel warm breath on my face and his hands were pressing me tight against the trunk, not letting go of my shirt for even an instant. His knuckles pushing strongly against my collarbones.

Fear rose inside my chest and suddenly my protecting blankets of callousness began fading away.

I felt the urge to cry, to sob, to run to my mother and hide in her arms, to let out all my distress no matter the consequences.

I fought it back. I suppressed my helplessness and I bit down on my lower lip. Hard. My mouth filled with some blood and the metallic taste rushed through my body, gathering the left-over adrenaline and forced my eyes open. Though not my eyes alone.

I could almost hear the click as my brain came back to life. The scientist I was turned up, analysing the situation like measured data. This was simply another problem I had to solve. A complicated problem indeed, but there was an answer to every question. At least the researcher part of me told me so. Repeatedly.

So, if I was supposed to die today to begin with, what was there for me to lose? What reasons were there for me to worry now? Torture? No physical pain could harm me now, the numbness of my body was clearly preventing me of that. Psychological damages then? I nearly laughed at that thought. No, I was over and done with that, too.

What was left for me to fear?

All I had lived for was long gone. My family was dead. Erik was "lost" as SHIELD had called it and I didn't even know what happened to him. Darcy, the only person I dared to call a friend was probably safe, she had went back to university ages ago and she was not associated with SHIELD; she had the chance living a life as ordinary as possible at times like these. And there was Thor. He wouldn't want me to throw in the towel this easily. Though, I didn't need to consider him any more.

The images in my mind hurt. They made me sad. Yet, they seemed so incredibly real.

Sadness tried to overwhelm my regained determination and I hurried sealing the images into a far corner of my brain.

And I just knew he had fought until the bitter end. With his head held high. Still trying to convince his brother to stop his doings, open to forgive him for his mistakes. Well, I was definitely not going that path, but I would not let my emotions get the better of me and lead me the way he wanted me to follow.

With that new-found willpower, that self-confidence, I focused my gaze right at glowing green orbs. I could swear for a split second there was confusion – or was it actually surprise? - written in his eyes before his stare intensified again.

A grin spread across his face, but I kept looking him straight in the eye.

As he spoke again, his deep voice flooded my head, echoing menacingly.

"Wise decision, Lady Jane", the amusement was solid in his speaking.

"Did your little journey through the forest, your foolish attempt to escape gain you anything?", his voice was filled with provocation. Deliberate provocation, I realized. He wanted me to react!

I tilted my head in a slight challenging way, whipping my messed up hair around my shoulders.

"Yep, it did", I answered, drawing strength from my own surprisingly steady voice. Almost no trembling and I hoped sincerely he didn't notice. I needed to appear confident.

He did notice.

A quiet chuckle escaped his lips.

"So? It did?", one of his eyebrows rose sceptically and he leaned away. The pressure on my chest vanished, he had loosened his grasp and I finally realized that I was holding my breath. He took a step back and broke the eye contact for a moment, offering me an opportunity to take in his whole appearance.

He was tall, not as tall as his brother, but he still reached an impressive height. His leathern clothes were dark; much black, some green and a few golden details. He was wearing a kind of cloak and underneath something that looked like strange armour. My gaze strode back up from his boots over his pants and settled on his angular face. Long, black hair neatly combed back and unreadable green eyes.

Everything about him was intimidating. His posture, his gaze, his damn arrogance.

This was Loki. Thor's brother. The norse god of mischief.

And I believed every single bit of it.

Thor had always been shiny and charming. Thor was the heroic type with big muscles and a flashing smile. Loki in comparison was entirely different.

His stance was gracious – without doubt – yet he lacked Thor's nobility. His smile was not warm and assuring, it was terrifying, insane and frightening.

The depth of his green eyes made me shiver and my resolve seemed to last a lot shorter than I had expected, facing the very reason of my nightmares. Who was I to think I could gamble with a god?

I grit my teeth, swallowed some blood and fought it off. I would stand it.

Shivering, I struggled to find my speech again.

"I gained some important insight, actually. I confirmed that you will in fact never be able to live up to Thor.", I challenged.

. ? Where did that come from? Are you this desperately wishing for your death?

My inner monologue was interrupted immediately and my severe mistake met an instant punishment.

Crashing painfully against the tree behind me, I felt a piercing ache ascending from my back and rise up my spine. The hot fluid dripping down my head told me about the grave injury tearing on my consciousness.

„What do you know about Thor? About myself? You, a mere mortal woman? Do you believe you are wise? Spending three days days with _Thor _and you are _allowed_ to speak that way?", Loki growled furiously. There was no gentleness left in his iron grip. The emerald of his eyes had grown darker and burned with rage. Rage, that wasn't direct towards me alone. I was only the catalyst. The scapegoat. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Obviously, I had hit a nerve. Though, I couldn't exactly pinpoint what had triggered his hatred.

Was it my rudeness? Or that I had mentioned Thor?

Thor...

My head was throbbing with pain.

I was losing my concentration and suddenly I found myself in midst of the pictures I tried to suppress frantically.

_I saw a half-lit room. The walls were grey and empty, the floor splattered with red. And a single person cowering on the floor. Broad shoulders trembling from exhaustion and heavy breaths echoing loudly._

_Thor's frame was pitiful. It seemed alien; not suiting the strong, glorious heir of Asgard's throne. And yet, there he was. Bloodied and hurt. His once majestic clothes torn and his golden hair in disorder. And I was towering above him, staring down with a victorious grin._

_Thor lifted his head and with his last remaining strength his eyes met mine._

_"_Please_...", he _begged_._

_My voice was cold, indifferent and definite. "Farewell,_ brother_", I replied._

_I didn't want to see it, trying in vain to avert my gaze, as a shimmering spear fell down and stroke the defenceless god._

But it wasn't _my_ gaze to begin with. It was Loki's. He had forced his sight, his memories, into my mind. Showing me the end of the one person I loved, who I deeply cared about, who I wanted to keep save by all means.

And I had failed miserably.

I had witnessed it even. And it felt like _I_ had brought this over him. The images were so _real_, so convincing as if they were my own. They _felt_ like my own.

My brain was no longer capable of protecting me. I started sobbing helplessly and my blurry vision revealed Loki's analysing eyes focused on me.

It took me a great amount of effort to stay awake, I could hardly process his words.

"You know nothing", he continued in a low, threatening voice. "You have...no idea... you will... lose", I spoke between sobs, barely audible. Then I gave in, let my desperation wash over me a last time and cried. Rivers of tears streaming down my face and all my sorrow sputtering to the surface.

I couldn't keep up any longer, I felt my consciousness fade away, but Loki went on.

"No, you will see. And you will regret. You should have knelt and begged for mercy, though you seem to be just as stubborn as the _almighty god of thunder_".

I did not recognise the disgust in his talking, neither did I notice the cool hand stroking down my temple, nor the mischievous smirk forming on his noble face.

"You know what I think about you, Miss Foster? I think you're broken. Your resolve has shattered. The shards of your unimportant little mortal life are lying ahead of me. I am not done with you just yet", his promising whisper accompanied the darkness that welled over my mind and I blacked out completely.

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If you made it to this point, I am really, really grateful.

Thanks a LOT for reading!

I kind of wanted to try out a few things and had the urge to write something. I'm afraid it's a little confusing...

However, English is not my native language, so if anything is misspelled or if I made grammar mistakes, if something sounds wrong or can't be used that way or in this context I'd be really, really glad if you'd point it out to me! I want to improve, so I'm open to any kind of criticism and judgement :)

Nonetheless, I hope you enjoyed this little story and I'd appreciate even a single word as review :)

Oh, yeah, right... the end is pretty open. I like cliffhanger and I keep myself a possibility to continue if I decide to ;)

Plus, I racked my brain in order to come up with a half-decent interpretation of both characters in the situation I dragged them into and thought it implausible to add any fluff just yet. In my head, I have already build up a surrounding story-line to develop an eventual Lokane, but I was wondering if it would be worth writing. I love English and I enjoy reading as well as writing it, nevertheless I'm not confident enough to launch anything big without help.

In short, please tell me: Is this story bearable?


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